Wednesday, August 7th, 2013

Fleeing fugitive jumps in river near police boat

A man in Omak, Washington had his getaway come to a quick end on 8/7/13.  After fleeing the local Wal-Mart and struggling with a security guard in the process, he elected to jump into the Okanogan River to make his escape.  Before jumping into the river, however; he failed to notice the police boat puttering around nearby…until he started floating downstream towards it.  The Colville Tribal Police vessel, which was there to assist people practicing for the Omak Stampede and World Famous Suicide Run, didn’t even have to move.  Once the idiot floated close enough, they wasted no time in plucking the moron out of the water, and sending him to jail to steam over his failed getaway.

Saturday, June 8th, 2013

Fleeing suspect plunges to his death

At 0330 hours on 06/05/13 Officers of the Macon Police Department in Macon, GA made contact with two suspicious males in a parked car behind a store in a shopping center, well after closing time.

The males became combative and fought the officers. One subject was subdued with O.C. spray and was taken into custody without further incident. The other subject fled on foot and climbed over a six foot tall chain link fence and jumped off the fence. As the subject was climbing the fence the pursuing officer shouted “Don’t jump here, man!” The officer understood that the fence was in place to keep people from falling the roughly forty feet to the bottom of the gully. Not heeding our helpful officer’s advise, our fleet of foot subject leapt to his death at the bottom of the gully. Approximately four hours later Fire Rescue was able to retrieve the body of our now inert subject, and rumor has it that he had just as much brain function when the fire fighters made contact with him as he did when the police made contact with him.


Wednesday, January 16th, 2013

Dumb Crook in Queenstown

dumb crook 2013

Wednesday, February 15th, 2012

Never bit the hand that feeds you

The Daily Mail reported that a Headmaster for a school in England stole money funds to feed his own addiction.

The thing here is that this Headmaster, Andrew Wilkie, stole the funds from the school he was working at! His statement to the chairman of the governors was that he had done something that would have a huge impact on the school. Which it also had.

The sum that was stolen was around £53 000 and according to himself he took the funds to feed is gambling addiction. He was playing poker online at what is known as poker rooms. By the time that Wilkie stole the money from the school he had already drained his and the wife’s private accounts. This guy really took the expression “Never bit the hand that feeds you” to heart.

Friday, July 9th, 2010

He sure was no professional criminal

Hi, here’s a true story from Finland:

Turku, Finland, April 2010 A man was found dead under a platform behind a shopping mall. He had been there for days. He had been crushed under a loose hydraulic moving platform that can be adjusted to unload trucks easier.

Police had a hard time to identify the man since there was no missing persons reported to the police at the time. Finally, a man from Estonia, working in Finland came to police and identified the deceased as his co-worker who had been missing for a while. They had been in the mall and then the co-worker had mysteriously vanished. But how did he end up under the platform? Finally the police was able to solve the mystery.

The man had intentions to steal the electric motor moving the hydraulic platform. Unfortunately, as he unfastened the wrong bolts, the heavy metallic platform dropped killing him instantly.

The police commented: “He sure was no professional criminal”.

Friday, August 7th, 2009

“Suspended Means Suspended”

At about 0330 hrs, on a warm summer night young Pte BLOGEN’s was stopped by a Military Police patrol who observed him merrily weaving back and forth along a German provincial highway.  As a result he was arrested for impaired driving, processed on the breathalyzer, charged for Impaired Driving and being Over the legal limit. After having his driver license suspended pending his trial (usually 90 days), and ordered not to return to his vehicle, Pte BLOGEN’s was turned over to his unit and driven home. Read the rest of this entry »

Sunday, June 21st, 2009

Paul Powell-VA Death Row Inmate

Powell stabbed a 16-year-old female and her 14-year-old sister, leaving the stepfather to find them when he got home from work., one girl survived the attack, the other did not. Powell was originally convicted of capital murder and sentenced to death in 2000, but the Supreme Court of Virginia tossed out the conviction.

Justices ruled that the attacks on the girls were separate crimes, and did not rise to capital murder. Read the rest of this entry »

Friday, June 19th, 2009

Stealing a car to make money

A local Texarkana, TX fellow had a brilliant idea to make money stealing a car, intending to take it to a Dallas chopshop. Ole’ Fudd isn’t the brightest spark plug in town, though. 

He went to the Honda dealership, asked to test drive a car, then went to Wal-Mart and made a copy of the key.  Later that night he went back, unlocked the car, cranked it up and drove away.  Clean break. 

He got to Dallas without any trouble and that’s where his lame brain got him in the soup.  He stopped  at Dairy Queen and ordered a meal. He then decided to jack the restaurant for the price of his HungerBuster.  He drove away and the manager called the police.  When he was pulled over it was discovered that the car he was driving was stolen. 

He, of course, was charged with absconding with the burger and felony auto theft.  Way to go, Fudd!

Friday, June 12th, 2009

1980’s - Lahr Germany

One of our all “Canadian Hero’s went out on the town in Lahr stopping at one of the many pubs for a beer. Feeling pretty good he made his way on foot towards the 1-2-3 Club. On the way he passed a large furniture store, up the street from the Bereitschaftspolizei -4 (German Police Academy - 4) where he decided to “liberate” a large flag as a souvenir. 

  Read the rest of this entry »

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009

Masturbating driver

A 39 year old man was arrested on the main south-north highway in Australia, up at the northern end. The cops pulled him over and found that apart from driving in an erratic manner, and speeding (10mph or so over the 80mph/130kph limit), he had two marijuana plants in the back seat. There were also two smoking implements and a loaded gun. In the boot (trunk) was more marijuana.

He was also masturbating and filming himself, which had led to him driving erratically and the interest of the police. He confessed at the scene that he’d been filming himself masturbating for the thousands of kilometres (over a thousand miles) he’d travelled up from Adelaide in the south. He also admitted that he didn’t have a driver’s licence. He pleaded guilty in court to dangerous driving and was fined $2,000. He’d previously been gaoled until next August on the other charges.

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