A Los Angeles man who later said he was “tired of walking,” stole a steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

A man was cited for driving his lawn mower while under the influence of alcohol after he crashed into a parked vehicle. Ronald Biggs, 38, took his brand new 14 HP Cub Cadet lawn mower on a joy ride along the highway. With wheel in one hand and a 40 oz beer bottle in the other, Biggs’ ride ended when he crashed into a parked 1997 Mitsubishi Eclipse.

“He said the car shouldn’t have been there, that it was in the way,” said Sheriff’s Deputy Rob Elbon Jr. Biggs was charged as a motorist and cited for hit and run, drunken driving, driving without a license, improper registration, no insurance and failure to maintain control.

An Arkansas man wanted a free case of beer. He decided he’d just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab a case or two, and run. He lifted the cinderblock over his head and heaved it at the plexi-glass window. It bounced back, hitting him on the head and knocking him unconscious. To add insult to injury, the entire event was captured on video tape by the store’s surveillance camera.

A man in Fort Collins, Colorado robbed the same 7-Eleven store twice in one day. He told the clerk during the second robbery that he’d be back in a few hours to rob it a third time. Sure enough, he returned a few hours later and was arrested by detectives still in the store investigating the first and second robberies.

Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.

A man walked into a bank and demanded money. The teller asked, “You want that in a bag?”

The partially deaf robber yelled back, “You’re darn right I have a gun!”

Realizing the robber was hard-of-hearing, the clerk rang the alarm. The police showed up and arrested the confused robber. He’s now suing the bank for taking advantage of his disability.

Deputy Tyrone Wicks of the Escambia County Sheriff’s Office wins a “Dumb Crooks” coffee mug for sharing this true story with us:

“While responding to a theft call, the victim told me she gave one-hundred dollars to a friend to buy the same amount of crack cocaine. She said that she had been waiting several days and that he did not return. She wanted him charged. I quickly assisted her in completing a warrant affidavit charging theft. I then charged her with conspiracy!”