If robbers had to be licensed, this guy wouldn’t have made it.

Over the weekend, Merriam, MO police said, he got locked out of a hotel he was trying to stick up, and, after a successful robbery, he spilled loot when he ran headlong into a trash container. Police think he also held up a Shawnee doll store.

Police arrested a man Sunday at a barbecue in a park, shortly after the last robbery.

The robber tried to start his crime spree Friday at the Drury Inn at Shawnee Mission Parkway and Interstate 35 in Merriam, police said, by pulling brown pantyhose over his head.

But a clerk saw his disguise through a front window and locked the doors. The man ran off empty-handed.

On Saturday morning, police said, the same man walked into the Doll Cradle at 5725 Nieman Road, this time with his head scrunched into gray pantyhose. He showed a gun in his waistband and ran with cash from the register.

About 3:50 p.m. Sunday, the robber walked up to the counter of the 7-Eleven at 6850 Antioch Road in Merriam with black pantyhose over his head. He kept a hand under his shirt as if he had a gun, police said, and demanded a carton of cigarettes and all the cash from the register.

He ran from the store cradling his spoils and keeping a watch over his shoulder for anyone who might be chasing him, a witness told police.

The real danger was up front, however. He slammed into the store’s trash bin and cash went flying. He scooped up the money but left a trail of four packs of cigarettes on his way to his getaway car.

Another witness noticed the license plate because he was suspicious that a woman was waiting in the idling car.

Police followed a tip to Antioch Park, where they found a man grilling dinner for his wife. Officers arrested the man and woman after they couldn’t agree where they had been earlier.

Dirk Aaron Stumpner, 42, and Judy Ann Stumpner, 38, were charged Monday in Johnson County District Court with aggravated robbery. Dirk Stumpner’s bond was set at $20,000, but a judge reduced Judy Stumpner’s to $5,000.

A Gulfport, Mississippi man will spend the next 18 months in prison for having sexual intercourse with a horse.

Carl Patrick Brown, 30, pleaded guilty Tuesday in Harrison County Circuit Court to a charge of having intercourse with a horse. Prosecutors said the owner of the mare caught Brown in May 2001 on videotape. The tape would have been used at trial.

Brown must register as a sex offender when he is released from prison because the offense is considered a sex crime in Mississippi. Brown, who said he had used the drug ecstasy when he committed the crime, will be on probation for five years after his release.

Circuit Judge Jerry O. Terry ordered Brown to avoid contact with the horse.

Prosecutors said sex crimes involving animals are uncommon on the Coast.

“This is truly a crime against nature,” said Assistant District Attorney John Gargiulo.

The owner said he installed video surveillance equipment in his Pass Christian barn in May 2000 because he suspected someone was trespassing. He often found buckets and stools out of place and once found the horse tied to a post.

The owner said he first thought young people were trying to ride the chestnut mare.

A suspected thief, weighed down with more than 50 pounds of stolen cameras and CDs, among other items, drowned as he attempted to evade police by swimming across the Arkansas River, officials said.

The man, identified as Edward McBride, 37, was carrying a duffel bag weighing 50 pounds that contained stolen items and was found Friday with stolen goods also stuffed in his pockets, said Tulsa police spokesman Lucky Lamons.

He was being pursued by Tulsa police who suspected him of robbing a Tulsa home when he jumped into the muddy Arkansas River.

“He got about 40 yards out and yelled for help,” Lamons said. “The officers took off their shirts, shoes and belts off and jumped into the river. By the time they reached him, he had gone under.”

Lamons said rescue workers retrieved McBride’s body about an hour later from about 8 feet to 10 feet of water along with the duffel bag containing stolen goods.

A 20-year-old Los Angeles man was arrested Sunday on suspicion of carjacking and kidnapping after a series of alleged crimes that ended when he tried to take the minivan of a university judo club and was forced into submission.

After he was treated for minor injuries, Tyrone Hogan was being held on $1.2-million bail, said LAPD Sgt. Alan Hamilton of the Hollywood Division.

The alleged crimes–which included a carjacking, a mugging and a kidnapping–concluded at a gas station at Santa Monica Boulevard and Highland Avenue when Hogan tried to carjack a vehicle that carried a judo club from Florida International University, authorities said.

“He was detained, to say the least,” Hamilton said. A bloodied Hogan was treated at the scene and taken to Los Angeles police headquarters downtown.

The events began around 1:30 p.m. when Hogan allegedly carjacked a man and woman outside their Hollywood-area home in the 1100 block of Gordon Street, Hamilton said.

After pulling the man out of the vehicle, Hamilton said, Hogan got into the driver’s seat and drove off with the woman inside.

Hogan tried unsuccessfully to grab the woman’s purse, Hamilton said. Hogan then forced the woman out of the vehicle while it was still moving, officials said.

Hamilton said police soon received a 911 call from a Mobil gas station. Hamilton said Hogan had apparently pulled into the station to grab another vehicle.

Hogan tried to take a beige minivan that contained the judo club, which was in town to teach a class in Long Beach, officials said. The club had just completed a tour of Hollywood and was about to head to Los Angeles International Airport, Hamilton said.

Hogan asked a member of the coed judo club for money and then became involved in a struggle with some of the others as he tried to get the minivan, Hamilton said.

It was then, police said, that several members of the judo club used their skills to restrain Hogan.

“We had this guy like a pretzel on the ground,” said Nestor Bustillo, the club’s judo instructor. Team members placed Hogan in what Bustillo called a body hold.

“Judo team, 1; carjacker, 0,” Hamilton said.

A teen-age motorcycle rider died Wednesday as he turned to give the finger to police officers who had given up pursuing him and slammed into a taxi, police said.

A 20-year-old friend of the 19-year-old unnamed boy killed in the crash also sustained a broken jaw.

The driver of the taxi into which the motorcycle rider crashed was not hurt.

Police said officers in a patrol car noticed the motorcycle riders had ignored a traffic light shortly after midnight, so turned on their siren and began chasing them.

But the motorcycle was able to maneuver the narrow roads far easier than the patrol car and soon sped off some hundreds of meters ahead of the police.

Realizing the chase was futile, officers turned off their wailing sirens. The two students riding the motorcycle turned around toward the officers and gave them the finger.

However, they failed to notice that they had gone through another red light and slammed into the taxi. The boy steering the motorcycle died instantly. (Mainichi Shimbun, Aug. 14, 2002)

A 25-YEAR-OLD Brisbane man has been charged with indecent behaviour after masturbating over a police car early this morning.

Police said the incident occurred where Albert Street intersects with the Queen Street Mall in the CBD at 12.50am (AEST).

The man was caught on security cameras and apprehended before he could complete his mission.

“We think he was doing it for about 10 minutes before he was caught,” a police spokeswoman said.

It is believed alcohol played a major role in the man’s behaviour.

Police said he been given a notice to appear before the Brisbane Magistrates Court.

Two Dade City residents were arrested on drug charges last week in New Mexico after a state police officer stopped them for driving too slowly on Interstate 40.

Jesus Cardenas, 17, and his cousin, Valentin Sanchez, 23, were nervous and nauseated and told different stories about where they were coming from, authorities said.

State police Sgt. Mike Valverde searched the car and found 15 pounds of methamphetamine. The street value of the drugs was estimated to be $750,000.

Valverde stopped the car driven by Cardenas as it neared Albuquerque on the busy interstate. The officer pulled Cardenas over because the vehicle was going well below the 75 mph limit and causing a line of cars and semitrailer trucks to back up behind him.

Cardenas told Valverde that he and Sanchez were being paid $4,000 to drive from their Dade City home to California, pick up the drugs and transport them back to Florida.