Chicago radio station WKSC-FM invited listeners to call in and confess any evil deeds they may have committed. A man who referred to himself as “D” called in and bragged that he and five accomplices had robbed a suburban TCF Bank.

He provided details of the unsolved crime, including that a bank employee had been involved, that they tied up the bank workers, and that they had made off with $81,000.

A bank employee driving into work was listening to WKSC and recognized the story as a holdup that had taken place at her bank in April 2004. She called the police.

The FBI traced the call back to a cell phone belonging to Randy Washington, 24, of Dolton.

FBI agents headed to the radio station, which turned over a cell phone number registered in Washington’s name, along with a transcript and recording of Washington’s call.

Washington appeared in federal court this week on charges that he and William Slate, 19, robbed the TCF Bank at 3220 S. Chicago Rd. in South Chicago Heights.

Washington was ordered detained. Slate, who recently moved to Dallas from Tinley Park, will be extradited to Chicago. Authorities are still looking for four others involved in the robbery.

A prisoner who bragged about conning a woman out of thousands of dollars landed in trouble when his cellmate turned out to be the victim’s husband.

The 35-year-old Serb, who was serving a three month sentence for a traffic offense, has been sentenced to an additional 18 months in prison.

The crook told his fellow inmate how he had conned an Austrian woman out of almost $9,500 and had not been caught.

He had persuaded the woman to give him starting capital of $9,500 for a joint venture telling her she would quadruple her investment within months.

He also persuaded her to sign up for four mobile phones for their new company and then ran up phone bills of more than $4800.

Needless to say, the woman’s husband was not amused by his cellmate’s bragging and told authorities.

Just as Roswell, New Mexico is the home of UFOs, Ashtabula, Ohio may very well be the Stupid Criminal capital of the world. Courtesy of the Ashtabula Star Beacon and staff writer Mark Tuscano, we bring you these two Ashtabula Classics:

An Ashtabula man was sandwiched between the pavement and an angry store manager’s backside Friday after he allegedly tried to run off with 5 pounds of bacon from a West Prospect grocery store.

According to the report, King D. Burgess, 39, of 826 Center St., was arrested on a charge of shoplifting after losing a quarter-mile foot race with store employees. Burgess was spotted earlier inside the store allegedly placing five 1 pound packages of Sugardale bacon, valued at $24.95, into a black cloth bag. Employees said he then left the store without paying for the pork.

The manager and others gave chase and nabbed Burgess on Route 20, several blocks west of the store. The store manager then seated himself atop Burgess’ chest until officers arrived and placed him under arrest.

According to the report, Burgess said he was hungry.

Prison guard may be trading spaces

A Lake Erie Correctional Institution corrections officer was indicted on two felonies last week for allegedly taking money to deliver marijuana to inmates.

Kenneth M. Blackburn, 23, of 4141 Austin Road, Geneva, was arrested by undercover Ohio State Highway Patrol agents after an investigation that included a sting operation in which Blackburn allegedly agreed to deliver drugs for money.

According to the indictment filed Tuesday, LaECI staff members became aware late last year that Blackburn allegedly was bringing “narcotics” into the facility and selling drugs to inmates.

On Dec. 1, an inmate set up a deal between Blackburn and an undercover agent. The agent contacted Blackburn by cell telephone several times and set up meeting on Dec. 17 at the Geneva State Park Lodge. The cell phone calls were recorded as part of the investigation.

The undercover agent from OHP’s Warren District investigative unit gave Blackburn $1,000 to deliver one pound of marijuana, one-sixteenth of an ounce at a time, to a prison inmate. Blackburn allegedly agreed to begin deliveries Dec. 23, but was placed under arrest immediately.

Blackburn was indicted on one count of conspiracy to illegally convey drugs into a detention facility, a felony of the fourth degree, and the illegal conveyance of drugs into a detention facility, which is a third-degree felony.

One message left at LaECI for the warden or his staff Wednesday afternoon was not returned.

New Riegel’s police chief was ready for trouble when he confronted an intruder in his house but found an unarmed, intoxicated young man who treated him to an impromptu Beethoven piano performance.

A 19 year-old Bethel, Ohio man was charged with burglary and underage drinking after his arrest early Sunday at the home of Chief Steve Swartzmiller in Seneca County’s Eden Township, just south of Tiffin.

Seneca County sheriff’s deputies said Chief Swartzmiller was awakened shortly after 2:30 a.m. by the sound of someone breaking through the front door of his house on Township Road 22.

Cindy Feasel, a dispatcher for the department, said Chief Swartzmiller grabbed his service firearm and headed for the living room, where he found the intoxicated young pianist sitting at the piano.

“He got up, and the chief told him to sit back down, and then he started playing,” Ms. Feasel said, reading from an incident report. “He played beautifully, even as intoxicated as he was.”

The man told the chief he needed a ride, and Chief Swartmiller called to get him one - from the sheriff’s office.

Ms. Feasel said the musician apparently was looking for a party when he barged into the Swartzmiller residence.

The Warden did a cartoon strip several years ago and submitted it to several national syndicates. They didn’t like it.

You can see more of The Precinct by clicking on the link. It may amuse you. Or not.

The daughter of one of my friends worked for a local toy store. One day she discovered her locker at work had been broken into and her purse stolen - including the keys to her new pickup. She went out to the parking lot and, sure enough, her pickup was gone.

A few days later her truck was back in the store parking lot. It had been painted a different color but still had the same license plates! The truck had been stolen by another employee of the same store.

The thief insisted the truck was his. When questioned about the license plates, he changed his story. He said the real owner let him drive the truck because she wanted a new paint job.

Needless to say, the police didn’t buy his story and he was hauled off to the local lockup.

I was working at a convenience store on 3rd shift. I was cleaning up the parking lot when I heard a loud screeching noise. A red car pulled into the parking lot with the front end smashed in every way imaginable and both front tires flat. A young man got out of the car and asked to use the phone so he could call the police. He claimed someone had pulled a hit-and-run on him.

We went inside the store. The young man reached behind the counter, grabbed the phone and dialed 911. It turns out the police had been searching for this very car for driving through three yards and hitting a house. Searching him and the car, they found over a pound of marijuana, 1 ounce of cocaine, several empty pill bottles and three empty bottles of Jim Beam.