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Archive for May, 2005

Hey Moe, Hey Larry, I can’t see!

A couple of brilliant guys were driving down I-380 in Iowa when the hood of their car popped open. The hood, of course, was slammed up against the windshield, completely obscuring their forward view. Did our friends pull over? Of course not. They continued driving along at 55 MPH with their heads out the windows.

A couple of Linn County Sheriff’s deputies observed our friends, didn’t think much of their driving technique, and pulled them over.

The driver was arrested on suspicion of driving under suspension and no proof of insurance. The passenger was arrested on a parole violation warrant from Illinois.

Not a good place to look for a job

An Amherst Ohio woman applied for a job as a police dispatcher. When they did a background check, police found she had 17 traffic convictions, including seven speeding tickets and two citations for driving without a license.

The police called and invited her in for an interview. When she arrived, she was arrested and charged with failing to appear in court and driving without a license.

Prisoner unlocks handcuffs, takes a 10-minute break

By John Tunison

The Grand Rapids Press

Allegan County Jail inmate Eric Erickson held the key to his own freedom.

And he used it lickety-split.

As a bailiff escorted him and other inmates across a parking lot to the Allegan County Courthouse on Wednesday, the 57-year-old inmate suddenly produced a handcuff key and unlocked himself.

He dashed away, but his time out of the clink was short-lived. Police nabbed him less than 10 minutes later after a citizen spotted him in his orange jail uniform and called police.

Authorities now are investigating how Erickson, jailed for allegedly passing counterfeit traveler’s checks in the Saugatuck area, obtained the handcuff key.

They didn’t know whether he somehow smuggled it into the jail or possibly snatched it from a guard.

Allegan County sheriff’s Lt. Frank Baker said handcuff keys, about 1-inch long with round cylinders, are typically interchangeable.

“You could stick it in your mouth. You could probably have it there all day and no one would notice it. They are very small,” he said.

Baker said it’s possible a visitor could have smuggled a key into the jail.

Erickson was transferred from a state prison to the Allegan jail on April 27 to resolve the charges involving the traveler’s checks. He already is serving a prison term for a check scam in Oakland County.

Baker said records show Erickson appeared to be from California.

“It sounds like he was just passing through when the incident in Saugatuck happened,” he said. “I think he’s real transient.”

Erickson was the last in a line of inmates being led less than 100 feet from the jail to the courthouse Wednesday for court appearances. After Erickson unlocked himself and bolted, a citizen spotted him near some shrubs and he was arrested on Cedar Street.

Erickson now faces an escape charge, a four-year felony.

© 2005 Grand Rapids Press. Used with permission

Car thief calls police

A Baltimore man called police Tuesday morning to say his white Nissan Maxima had been stolen from in front of his apartment building.

Instead of getting his car back, police arrested him and jailed him on charges of armed robbery, possession of a stolen car and a handgun violation.

It seems the car he reported stolen wasn’t his. Police say he had stolen it at gunpoint two weeks earlier. The only reason he couldn’t find it was because the victim had spotted it and called police, who towed it away.

Why did Alston call police?

He had left his wallet in the car and wanted it back.

Woman calls police, goes to jail

A Decatur, Alabama woman called police to say that someone had broken into her home.

When officers arrived to check things out, they searched her home. Inside, police found a stolen .38 caliber revolver, crack cocaine and powder cocaine.

Needless to say, the woman who called police ended up getting arrested.

DJ brags to Howard Stern about not paying taxes. IRS not amused.

A New York City disc jockey had a good plan for putting a little extra money into his retirement plan - by not paying taxes for three years. Figuring that wasn’t enough, he decided to tweak the nose of the IRS by bragging about it on the Howard Stern Show. The IRS was listening. They weren’t amused.

The DJ has been sentenced to a year in prison - and he must pay the taxes he owes.

Stoned criminal sings one octave higher

South of the border, in Lima, Peru, Hermogenes Meza and ten of his brilliant friends decided to steal some cattle belonging to Elizabeth Coz. In addition to stealing her cattle, Meza thought it might be fun to have his way with Ms. Coza.

Ms. Coza thought otherwise. She sank her teeth into Meza’s testicles. Then some of Ms. Coza’s relatives showed up and began stoning Meza and his accomplices, who then ran away. Well, the accomplices ran away. Meza limped away - screaming in pain.

Meza’s right testicle did not survive the encounter and was removed by a surgeon in a hospital northeast of Lima.

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