Ex-con Joseph Azter has committed a fashion crime, and because of that, he’s back in the slammer.

The ex-con had taken a windbreaker (issued by the prison) with him when he was released April 24 from the California Institution for Men in Chino, where (ironically) he had done time for theft.

But the next day, several terrified residents saw Azter standing on a street corner in Redlands with the words “CDC Prisoner” on the back of his jacket.

Those neighbors called the cops to report a prison escapee.

Police in Redlands claim that Azter said to a responding officer that prison execs had given him the jacket.

But what the officials really said was that the jacket belonged to the state and that he should have returned it when he was released.

Police arrested Azter that afternoon for investigation of possessing stolen property, and for failing to register with his parole officer within 24 hours of being let out of the slammer.

So there is a lesson to be learned from this story, and a lot of the other stories on this website: a fool and his freedom are soon parted.

Police in Middletown, Ohio have a message for a couple from Cincinnati: if you are going to steal a big-screen TV, make sure it fits in your car.

Police in Middletown claim that Richard and Stephanie North were stopped early on the morning of April 26 when cops noticed that the couple’s car, a Mercury Sable, was driving with one of its doors open.

The authorities say that they discovered a 55-inch flat-screen on the back seat, hanging out that open door.

About half an hour prior to the bust, police had acted on an alarm at a TV and appliance shop where the window in the front door was smashed in and a Hitachi flat-panel TV was gone.

The husband is now being held on charges of breaking and entering and felony theft. The wife was charged with being an accomplice.

A shoplifter took a wrong turn, and boy did he take a wrong turn–toward Rome, Italy’s police headquarters. He was running away from a supermarket after stealing two bottles of liquor.

Police just outside the building heard people yelling, “Stop, thief!” and grabbed the unidentified 19-year-old man, according to a police spokeswoman.

The flabbergasted felon immediately admitted to what he had done and handed over the booze.

The Il Messaggero newspaper quoted the man as saying, “Yes, I stole the bottles. But not this chocolate.” He was referring to a candy bar he had bought prior to lifting the liquor.

Three of his friends, watchers of the event, were arrested as partners in crime, according to the spokeswoman.

From the Goldsboro NC NewsArgus
Couple charged after store robbery

A couple was arrested Monday in connection with a convenience store robbery.

A clerk at The Pantry at 2007 Wayne Memorial Drive told Goldsboro police that a man entered the store at about 2:40 a.m., took a soda from the cooler, then pointed a firearm at her and demanded money from the cash register. The suspect took $64, told her to get in the bathroom and then fled on foot, a report said.

However, the man, who had a peg leg, fell and broke his other leg, police said. The man, who was unidentified, was arrested and taken to Wayne Memorial Hospital for treatment.

Kellee Bavo, 21, of Corporate Drive, was charged with aiding an armed robbery and two misdemeanors, carrying a concealed weapon and not having an operator’s license. She was placed in the Wayne County Jail in lieu of a $75,000 secured bond.

Police in Titusville, Florida, have busted the nitwit they said was caught red-handed breaking into a car.

Looking like the proverbial deer in the headlights, the man looked right into the camera of a homemade security system. Police identified our nitwit as 18-year-old Robert Pilling.

This wasn’t the first time the truck has been broken into. The truck had been burglarized four times prior to this latest break-in when the owner decided that he should take things into his own hands by setting up the security system.

The victim wanted to remain anonymous, fearing that the burglar might know who he is.

The victim was quoted as saying, “I was very concerned for my family’s safety. I felt violated, very violated and helpless.”

Once the cops confirmed that the burglar was indeed Pillings, they contacted him and requested that he turn himself in. He has been charged with one count of burglary.

Even at 50% off, a million-dollar bill is not even close to a bargain.

Police in Tashkent, Uzbekistan, busted a group of alleged swindlers who tried to sell a million-dollar bill for half of its face value–a good deal for them since the U.S. Bureau of Engraving and Printing does not print and never has printed that or any other denomination over $100,000. (The largest bill still being printed is the $100.)

The suspects told their potential customer that they were ready to sell the phony seven-figure note for $500,000, because they needed to make a quick buck (500,000 of them, to be exact), the ITAR-Tass news agency reported April 14, citing prosecutors in the Uzbek city of Samarkand.

The report also said that these geniuses used a color printer to produce the bogus bill.

A dolt in Elko, Nevada, accused of burglarizing a laundromat there thought he made a clean getaway this past weekend when he stole the store’s six security cameras.

However, he left behind some very incriminating evidence–the video machine and videotape that caught a good glimpse of his face every time he stood in front of the cameras at Southside Laundry.

Police there say that they have a lot of closeups of the dolt, who was identified as 52-year-old Robert Lynn White, who lives in the same city in which this story takes place.

The surveillance photos are good, albeit a little fuzzy, but police say that it wouldn’t have been hard to catch White, because he was wearing cowboy boots and a trench coat, his usual wardrobe.

Police are still working on recovering the stolen cameras, but in the interim they arrested our dolt on suspicion of grand larceny. Elko County Commissioner John Ellison owns the store.