Three days after the fact, Susan Zahn was still laughing about the burglar who was high on cocaine who broke into her downtown Eugene, Oregon, day spa over the weekend.

The man neither stole nor damaged anything — just snorted cocaine off a table a table in the pedicure room as the “very loud” burglar alarm sounded and police converged outside, Zahn said.

“It’s one of those ‘dumb criminal’ stories,” she said on January 30. “It went from being something very scary, to something we can’t stop laughing about.”

Zahn owns the Pearl Day Spa at 1375 Pearl St.

Her alarm company, ADT, called her at her house early on January 28 to tell her that the audible alarm in the spa was going off. An employee from a business next door had spotted someone crawling around on the steep roof of the building.

When a technician from the alarm company called the business, a man answered the phone and said, “Someone’s trying to steal something.” He then hung up.

Police arrived and it turned out that someone really was inside.

But the man ignored their orders to vacate the premises. He couldn’t have come out even if he’d wanted to, Zahn said — all of the doors are double-keyed, meaning you need a key both to get in and to get out, and he didn’t have one.

Police asked Zahn for permission to break down the door, and a police dog was sent inside to persuade the man to come out.

The burglar, identified as 20-year-old Daniel Caelin McGeough, of Portland, Oregon, was arrested on charges of second-degree burglary, cocaine possession, and criminal mischief. The intruder had squeezed in through a tiny window in an upstairs bathroom, according to Zahn.

“He was just sitting there partying alone, and the alarm’s going off the entire time,” Zahn said. “I don’t even know if he was in there to rob us. He actually answered the phone when the alarm company called.”

It was the second time in five years that someone has entered the spa outside regular business hours.

The first time, a man crawled through a tiny milk door on the ground floor, caused the alarm to sound, and was trapped by the locked doors.

He knocked over the week’s paychecks without stealing anything and crawled back out the milk door.

Two street robbery suspects in San Diego, California, were arrested when they took off their bandannas and were caught on camera outside police headquarters.

Police there say that the two suspects, an 18-year-old and a 15-year-old, along with two others came up to a man walking down the street, attacked him, and demanded his belongings.

When the man refused, he was again attacked before he ran and was chased by the suspects. Two of the suspects gave up on chasing the man and walked over to the San Diego Police Department headquarters at 1400 Broadway, where they were spotted on surveillance video trying to remove bandannas from their faces.

Officers were dispatched to check out the situation at hand, and ended up taking the 18-year-old, identified as Jeremy Meeks, into custody, along with the 15-year-old, who was not identified because he is a minor. Meeks was carted off to the San Diego Central Jail, while the underage boy was taken to juvenile hall.

As of this writing, the other two suspects are still on the loose.

A man who stands accused of impersonating a cop reportedly pulled over a real one in Madison, Wisconsin, on the morning of January 19.

The fake officer, identified as 28-year-old Joshua Kay, has been charged with impersonation of a peace officer after police say he attempted to stop an off-duty cop, according to WISC Channel 3, a TV station there.

Kay, who was driving a Honda Civic (a real cop usually drives a Ford Crown Victoria), allegedly used red lights and a siren and motioned for the real officer to pull over.

Unfortunately for Kay, the officer instead dialed 911 to figure out if a real traffic stop was occurring and got the license number of the suspect’s car, the TV station reported.

A man in Chattanooga, Tennessee, who had a wad of funny money picked a bad place to attempt to pass it.

Officials at the City-County Courts Building said that a man entered the edifice and offered seven $20 bills to pay $140 he owed in fines and court costs.

The clerk in General Sessions Court took a counterfeit detection pen to the bills and they turned up phony.

The host of officers at the Courts Building were alerted and the man was detained. A Secret Service agent was also called in.

According to officials, the unidentified man got off without being arrested. This doesn’t happen very often in the world of criminal stupidity. One of the officials said, ”The Secret Service was more interested in where he got the counterfeit money.”

Here is the story of another dumb crook who got stuck in an air duct.

A guy in Chicago, Illinois, was determined to eliminate video evidence of his theft. He plan went wrong and what happened to him is described in the opening sentence of this story.

Two women were closing up an electronics store there on the night of January 27, when a man walked into the store, took out a handgun and demanded money, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, a newspaper there.

He reportedly grabbed two Sony PlayStation 3 video game consoles, and when he started looking for some games to steal, he noticed a surveillance camera.

Latrice Powell, an employee at the store, said that the suspect asked if he was being recorded. When she told him that he was, he demanded to know where the device to which the camera was connected was, the newspaper report said.

After he smashed the device, the two women ran away and locked the door behind them and called the cops, who discovered the suspect attempting to crawl through an air duct.

The unidentified 23-year-old was charged with armed robbery and was being held on $375,000 bail.

Police in Toledo, Ohio, say that a suspected burglar found himself trapped in a vent.

They say that the unidentified man wanted to break into a video store on the west side of where this story takes place, but the owner had put in bars after other recent burglaries. So, the suspect’s brilliant idea was to enter the sandwich shop next door by squeezing himself into the vent — and got stuck.

He was discovered there by cops on patrol who investigated after noticing a path of footprints in the snow leading up to the store, but none leading away from it.

Firefighters were called in, and an hour or so passed before they freed the burglar. He was uninjured but arrested.

Now here’s a story of another dumb crook done in by MySpace, this one out of Suffolk, Virginia.

This guy and his brother put pictures of his homegrown marijuana on his page of the popular social-networking website, which touched off a police investigation, according to a search warrant filed in Suffolk Circuit Court.

The man, identified as 20-year-old Michael Wayne Pilkerton, of the 300 block of Delaney Drive in this city, was charged with felony distribution after police said they used an informant to make three weed buys from him in recent months.

The search warrant also states that that work began after Captain D. Smith and Investigator R. Sieg learned about the MySpace page in March of 2006. Lieutenant D.J. George, a police spokeswoman, declined to say which types of Internet surveillance her detectives use.

Pilkerton’s brother, Jonathan, had a page on the same website that showed huge amounts of cultivated cannabis and comments by the brothers that they both smoked the stuff frequently, according to the warrant. The warrant did not further mention any investigation into Jonathan Pilkerton.

A web search performed on January 26 turned up nothing pertaining to Michael Pilkerton’s MySpace page.