Dad of four children of which I do not have legal custody

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Dad of four children of which I do not have legal custody

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 24, 2005 2:20 am    Post subject: Dad of four children of which I do not have legal custody Reply with quote

I am the Dad of four children of which I do not have legal custody, but I do have
physical custody. I am ordered to pay the support of these children even though they
are with me most of the time. In the courts, their mother was given full custody;
outside the courts, she drops them off to me and leaves it to me to raise them while
she is almost totally absent from their lives (yet still keeps and spends their
money). You may be wondering why I don’t make her take care of them by refusing my
children. Let me ask you this -- would you refuse YOUR children? Question answered.

I do love these children very much and would do pretty much anything for them. I am
quite far behind in child support, so I guess that makes me a deadbeat dad, I pay
child support, but a man in may situation will obviously have a hard time keeping up
on it (raising 4 kids plus giving court-ordered charity to my ex-wife). I fear this
oppressive court system will lock me up, or even worse, find me guilty of felony
non-payment of a dependant and never let me see them again for this “so called” type
of child abuse! My children’s needs are not why I pay. Why am I saying such a thing?
Because my payment isn’t going towards my children’s needs!

The system is doing absolutely nothing about this besides telling me to hire an
attorney for the fourth time. Gee, do lawyers grow on tree’s? The last three I had
cost several thousand dollars only to get nothing done other than tell me Ohio is a
no “fault system” and mothers almost always get custody. This, by the way, was told
well after they tell you their selling points so they get your money. I would think
their selling points would need no explanation!

A little over a week ago the courts told me to go to child support and tell them
about our situation. Well, I have been there numerous times already and always get
nowhere. But regardless, I go (along with my four children) back and told them once
again what was going on with their mother. I politely told them that I could not
afford to pay child support anymore and might loose my job over lack of a free
sitter. In front of my children, they told me “If you are saying your not going to
pay the support, we will file contempt charges on you right now and have you locked
up“. Keep in mind they knew I am the one who has the children most of the time.

While this may not seem a big deal to some, I can assure you that much, much worse
things have happened in this case that I feel I probably should not mention here
(reason being they the system tends to twist things around and use it against me and
the children). Why do they do this? Well my best guess would be, for example, like a
police officer caught on film doing wrong, or any other government agency caught
doing something they should not. They for one will never admit it, and two, they
twist the truth so bad and distort it so no one knows what to believe.

Let me ask you: is this putting the children first or in the children’s best
interest to lock me up for not paying a wolf in sheep’s clothing? One thing I can
assure you of my actions, I have never and will never turn away from my children. I
do try to pay my child support but as most parents know children do need to eat and
be properly clothed. My last paycheck after child support was a whopping $7.23
total. It cost me more to work, and I do it because I believe its in my children’s
best interest that I am not in a prison cell for non-payment of child support. These
courts herd us through like cattle and rubber stamp everything without care.

Do the children want to live with me? Yes they do! But these are just my words. As
for my actions: According to the teachers, I am very involved in my children’s
life’s the mother is almost non existent. They say the children function much better
when in my care.

There you have it, but not all of it. For legal reasons I should probably not say a
thing. Now the last thing I want you to think about is that you, my fellow
Americans, are paying the bill for this type of thing with your tax dollars. Welfare
its not much, but it sorta gets us by I suppose as far as food, but I still need
help. I want custody of my kids in a LEGAL way as well as a physical way. I need to
care for them, and hire a good lawyer, too! Its kinda funny if I were female this
would not happen for the very same reason it happens to men- Its in the best
interest of the children. I thought slavery was abolished, or is it just hidden?

Thank you! Yours truly,

A “Deadbeat Deadbroke Dad” in


my email is
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PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2005 7:45 am    Post subject: Dad of 4 Reply with quote

Contact the press. Many newspapers LOVE this kind of stuff. They could do a series on men in your situation or an article on just you. That usually prompts some kind of action on the part of government. Or may get you a lawyer who will work on your case free.

Good luck.
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 9:51 am    Post subject: I feel for you, but . . . Reply with quote

i am a single mom, my ex, although he told the courts otherwise is refusing and unwilling to pay child support. luckily i make enough money that i am not hurting for it. i am sick that he wants to be so involved in my childs life, yet lives with his parents and works under the table so that that his wages will not be garnished. i have never refused him to see his child but i am starting to sympathize with women who do. I feel for you, but please do not compare your situation to slavery. we are talking about 2 TOTALLY, COMPLETELY different situations and being a black woman, I am offended that you think these two situations compare.
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