120 Things Not To Say During Sex

 ProfileProfile   Private messagesPrivate messages   FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   UsergroupsUsergroups    Log inLog in  RegisterRegister 
120 Things Not To Say During Sex

Post new topic   Reply to topic     Forum Index -> Jokes
Author Message

PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2005 2:14 pm    Post subject: 120 Things Not To Say During Sex Reply with quote

1) is it in?
2) that's it?
3) you've got to be kidding me.
4) (phone rings) hello? oh nothing and you?
5) do I have to pay for this?
6) do I have to call you tomorrow?
7) oh momma, momma!
Cool oh dadda, dadda!
9) you look better in the dark.
10) this is much better than my last girl/boyfriend.

11) I thought that goes in the other hole....
12) don't tell my husband/wife.
13) you have the same bra my mom does (worse if the girl says it) .
14) this sucks.
15) can you finish now? I have a meeting...
16) I hope you don't expect a raise for this...
17) I think you might get the job for this.
1Cool damn! is that all you know what to do.
19) did I tell you, I have herpes?
20) now we must get married.

21) hurry up, the games about to start.
22) i'm hungry.
23) i'm thirsty.
24) zzzzzzzzzzzz.
25) are you trying to be funny?
26) can I have a ride home after this?
27) are those real?
2Cool by the way, I want to break up.
29) is that smell coming from you?
30) haven't you ever done this before?

31) wow!! i've never seen those before (then grope wildly) .
32) do you know what some female spiders do after sex?
33) you're so much like your sister....
34) your mom's cute.
35) what's your name again?
36) do I have to be here in the morning?
37) a second time? I barely stayed awake the first time!
3Cool but you just started!!
39) you're about as good as a 9 year old, and I should know!!
40) don't touch that!!

41) can we order a pizza?
42) I think my dad is listening at the door.
43) smile for the camera, honey!!!
44) take off that damn monkey glove!!
45) get your hand out of there!!
46) I think the condom broke 10 minutes ago.
47) I knew you wore a padded bra!!
4Cool cover me boys, i'm going in!!!
50) Fire one!

51) God, that is small!!
52) hold on, let me change the channel...
53) who smells like fish?
54) is it o.k. if my mom (and/or dad) joins in?
55) your best-friend does it much better.
56) hope you don't mind I left my boots on.
57) hurry up, the motor's runnin'.
5Cool you're fogging up the wind-sheild.
59) can I borrow 5 bucks?
60) what the hell noise was that?!

61) stop moaning, you sound so stupid.
62) shut up, bitch! (worse if the girl says it)
63) you know, you're not really attractive.
64) i'm sorry, I was not listening.
65) what, oh yea, I love you too, now let me concentrate!!
66) stop interrupting me!!
67) I have to poop.
6Cool did I leave the iron on?
69) your breath is funky.
70) (start singing Green Day) .

71) is it o.k. if I call someone, its o.k. though, keep going....
72) its ok honey, I can imagine that its bigger.
73) god I wish you were a real woman.
74) why can't you ever shave your legs?
75) by the way, when I drove over here, I ran over your dog....
76) oh susan, susan... I mean donna.... dang.
77) your breast milk is like my mom's....
7Cool you're hairy!!
79) your "happy trail" led me to a dead end.
80) is it o.k. if I never see you again?

81) did I forget to tell you I got worms from my cat?
82) don't make that face at me!
83) all of a sudden I have a headache.
84) you're boring.
85) Would you shave my back after this.
86) Did I mention my name is Zog from Planet Tog.
87) how much do I owe you?
8Cool How come we each have a penis? (If it wasn't suppose to be that way)
89) of course you can't be on top, you're too fat, you'l kill me!
90) your ass is hairy (the guy says this) .

91) just use your finger, its bigger.
92) does your family have to watch?
93) we'll try again later when you can satisfy me too.
94) get off me, i'll do it myself!!!!
95) can you hold this sandwhich for me?
96) you're as soft as a sheep, inside and out.
97) the only reason i'm doing this is because i'm drunk.
9Cool my mom taught me this.....
99) how cute... peach fuzz!
100) Dang girl! my boobd are bigger than your's!

101) should I ask why you're bleeding?
102) this is my pet rat, larry....
103) if you can't do it, i'll find someone else who can!
104) I haven't had this much sex since I was a hooker!
105) I was once a woman...
106) wanna see me take out my glass eye?
107) no I don't love your mind, I can't grab that!!
108) is it o.k. if I tell my friends about this?
109) i'm sobering up and you're getting ugly!
110) you wanted me to use a condom?

111) you're no better than my brother!!
112) mooooo!!
113) Fire in the hole!!!
114) I wanna see how many quaters I can fit in there.
115) hurry up, i'm late for a date.
116) o.k. start...oh! that feels so... YOU'RE DONE??!!
117) you ever see basic instinct?
118) i'm out of condoms, can I use a sock?
119) don't squirm, you'll spill my beer.
120) Did I tell you where my cold sore came from?
Back to top

PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2006 4:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

you pushed so hard...o is that why you are bleading
Back to top
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic     Forum Index -> Jokes All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Page 1 of 1


UFO Paranormal message board.
This is very cool forum about all the paranormal topics.